My 4th Trimester has been over for a while, but I started this post around the end of it. I’m just now getting around to finishing it. I’ve learned a lot in the first 3 months of being a mother and wanted to share a little recap. I will warn you now, it’s a little long so grab a snack and get started…
If you missed my BIRTH STORY post, I posted that just after Layla was born. This is my journey from the time we arrived home!
Before I dive in, I want to mention that this is MY postpartum journey. Everyone deals with postpartum and parenting differently, and everyone’s baby is different. I am sharing my experience for those that may be interested. I shared a lot of it on my Instagram as time went on, so for those that have been following along on the day to day life on there, thank you for being here and some of these things you’ll already be familiar with.
I also want to note that I LOVE BEING LAYLA’S MOM. It has been an eye opening and amazing experience. So here’s my journey…along with lots of cute photos of my sweet baby girl in the first three months…
Postpartum Journey | Baby Blues
Ooofta! Postpartum is no joke! I had no idea what was going to happen and how I would react. I personally had no major hormone shifts while pregnant (other than one day – the first day of the third trimester to be exact), but once I gave birth, all of the hormones had to rebalance themselves and boy was it a trip! The first 2 weeks while Conor was at home went pretty well, but once he went back to work, that’s when things started to get dicey. I would say I had more baby blues than full on postpartum depression, but it was touch and go for a while.
The major struggles came from a few different things. First was the sciatica that came about when I got home from the hospital. I could barely walk down the hall and was limping so much that I felt stuck and in one spot all day. I went to the Chiro constantly, but it didn’t seem to help much. I wanted to get out and take walks, but wasn’t supposed to be moving that much and it was also SO HOT in the weeks after we got home from the hospital. I felt STUCK inside and I do not recommend that after having a baby. I think that was a major contributor to my mental health status during those weeks.
Another thing that happened but not until about a month or two home with Layla was an issue with my wrist. I thought it was still carpal tunnel pain from being pregnant, but once I finally got in for an appointment, I found out I had De Quervain’s tenosynovitis (tendonitis), ironically nicknamed “Mommy Thumb” or “Mommy Wrist”. It was awful and it made me struggle with feeding and holding Layla. I still have a little pain, but have a follow up appointment next month to check up on it after a steroid injection and needing to wear a brace.
In addition to those issues, we had trouble from the start with breastfeeding and so I was trying to pump and feed. When pumping and feeding, I felt like I was constantly plugged into a wall, then feeding a bottle, then trying to clean the bottles and then get baby down for a nap, all while trying to nap myself. It was a constant cycle of wash, rinse, repeat. It was defeating. I was also not pumping as much milk as Layla needed. Little did I know that what baby gets out of the breast was more than I would pump, but I didn’t find out about that until later. Once I started exclusively breastfeeding (it took forever to get the latch issues figured out and for the pain to stop), things went much more smoothly. It saved time on bottle dishes and I could feed anywhere.
In addition to the mental changes, the physical changes are a whole different story. Your body goes through changes (obvi) with growing a human. I’ve had to get used to my post-pregnancy body. My c-section scar, clothes definitely don’t fit the way they used to, and I’m just starting the postpartum hair loss. I’m learning to accept this new body and even learning how to dress it and feel confident in it.
I think another struggle for me was that I wasn’t on maternity leave. Yes I gave myself some time to recover and not work, but working for myself meant I didn’t get a paid break. I knew that I had to work a little to make sure we still had extra income coming in. I’m lucky to be able to be at home with Layla, but I know that I am not able to fully do my job and be a full time stay at home mom. I knew that my job would be less of a priority than Layla and that’s okay.
I shared a few postpartum struggles on Instagram stories and one of my followers put it in the best way. They said that you go through a mourning period after having a baby. You are mourning the loss of the pre-baby life while learning to navigate and love this new one. That hit the nail on the head for me. SO MANY things change when you have a baby. While I would sit at home alone, all of those thoughts would run through my mind. There were days that I would cry constantly, sometimes for no reason. There were also days that I felt SO ALONE, even though I had a baby with me all day. You’re never alone, but feel more alone than ever.
I never realized what postpartum actually was until I experienced it first hand. I see movies and tv shows with postpartum stories and never really thought anything of it. Now I see them and I feel it down to the core. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone who hasn’t been a mom. I’m simply sharing my experience. But as I am writing this now, a lot has passed and to be honest, I’ve forgotten quite a bit of it. I think if women could fully remember giving birth, the sleep deprivation and postpartum depression and anxiety, that there would be a lot less children in this world. But our minds focus on the good that came out of it. The sweet baby that smiles back at you and loves you unconditionally. That is why we forget! It is all worth it in the end!
What Helped Me Get Through It
I have to say that I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot of it without a support system. Conor was helpful when he could be, but working in a physical labor line of work makes for a tired husband when he gets home. He has been doing the best he can and I appreciate it so much. We’ve also had help from family and it’s been amazing.
Some things that really helped me (and still help me) stay positive and get through the day are making myself grab a shower (even if it is for 5 minutes while Layla is in the bouncer in the bathroom) and getting myself ready for the day – changing out of pajamas and into regular clothing and also putting on makeup. It makes me feel human again and helped me get back into a routine. I knew I had to take care of myself so I could be the best mom to sweet Layla.
Accepting help is also HUGE. Ask for it if you need it and accept it graciously! Having family help with meals was probably the most helpful! It was so hard thinking about feeding ourselves while taking care of another human, especially while trying to breastfeed. If you are reading this and know of someone who just had a baby, REACH OUT to them. Check in on them – they will appreciate it so much. They may not fully tell you how they are feeling, but knowing that someone is thinking of them makes all the difference.
Another tip from my followers was to get out of the house. Since I couldn’t take walks, I would drive to Starbucks with Layla. It helped give me a change of scenery and get some fresh air. Plus, getting out in daylight for babies is helpful with their nighttime sleep.
We were really lucky come month 2-3 with Layla. She started sleeping through the night and although I never fully slept through the night, I was back in a better sleep routine and catching up on those sleepless nights. It’s been amazing to watch this tiny human grow and for her personality to start showing. Her smiles and laughs make my day.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t still have days where I struggle a bit, but overall my mindset is so much better than it was in those first few months. I hope you found this helpful or it resonates with you somehow. As I said, everyone’s postpartum journey is different, but that was mine!
Thank you so much for reading!
Leave a Reply